Amor

(Another dedication, but this time to someone who will read it. This is for you, nutcase.)

You are the reason I smile
The reason my heart skips a beat for a while
You are the reason I rush to answer the phone
You are the reason I never feel alone

You are my summer wind
You are my warm bed
You are my bar of chocolate
And you fill every corner of my head

Riding The High

I’m riding the high
Like a surfer who’s ashore
He can still feel the waves
Though he’s not on them anymore

I’m riding the high
Like an actress after the show
The crowd’s long gone
But she can still feel the stage lights’ glow

I’m riding the high
Like a dancer swaying to the beat
Her partner’s just a dream
But she doesn’t stop moving her feet

I’m riding the high
Like a racer stopped for repair
He can hear the cars whiz by on the track
All he wants is to be back there

I’m riding the high
I’m feeling the days go by
Sunshine, rain, I’m feeling no pain
The hours are flying by
And I’m riding the high

Me, Phoebe

I took a couple of quizzes.

Which Friends character are you?

You are Phoebe. You're the weird kid with odd habits. Most people don't know it, but you're kinky in bed. Your childhood memories aren't your best, but why do you care? There's plenty of time to make up for your lost childhood now that you're an adult.

I concur.

Which Family Guy character are you?

You are Lois. You are caring and conservative, but you've got a wild side.

Ditto.

See a pattern here?

Which Sex and the City character are you?

You are Carrie. You know what you want out of a relationship and you're not afraid to keep moving until you get it. Wit and charm are your biggest turn-ons, and you like guys who appreciate you for your mind as much as your body. You have fun playing the dating game, but secretly you just can't wait to find the guy who sweeps you off your feet and carries you into the sunset.

Sigh.

Snippets

"Oh my God! Stop staring at him! You're so green!" - D
"Your profound side is the real you. Tell me again why you're so mature and still not married?" - AR
"Love ya too." (Sigh. If only.) - J
"Why don't you pick normal men to kiss???" - D
"Just once before I get married. At least think about it?" - L
"What colour today?" - AS
"Are your tattoos real? Yeah? Respect!" - M
"...must be that lucky streak...land a hot, hot girlfriend and then do well at scrabble..." - AV
"...she's (Nina Manuel *smile*) not as hot as you..." - AV
"You have nice legs...nice legs...nice legs..." - Y
"You're hot, smart, talented, you've got your life and career sorted out..." - J
"So not only are you furiously hot, but also furiously clever..." - V

Hot afternoons

(I know you're never going to read this, so I can happily dedicate it to you. Here goes.)

It started off innocently enough
We were hanging out, killing time
We talked, we laughed, we hugged a bit
But hey, that isn't a crime

All of a sudden, it came without warning
Your lips met mine
The sounds disappeared, the world closed in
And I was lost in time

"We shouldn't, we mustn't"
Echoed throughout the room
In our languorous sighs

"Oh, but we should, and oh, we must"
Was loud and clear
As we looked in each others' eyes

You bite your lower lip
I moan as I bite back a cry
I grab your hair in passion
You knead my inner thigh
The sweat flows in rivers
Our bodies move as one
We tease and grab and quiver
And at last...
At last we are done

(As of now, this feels incomplete, but I can't think of a suitable way to end it. My plan is to leave it like this, and finish when inspiration strikes. Please feel free to tell me if you think it sounds complete or not.)

My Secret

I'll never, ever tell you
That watching you gives me such joy
The way your lips curl into a smile
The easy grace with which you greet old friends
That twinkle in your eyes when you laugh at a joke
And when you happen to look at me, oh,
It's like a well of happiness just springs up inside
I could stare at you for hours,
Even if you never once stare back
I wish you would look at me,
Laugh at my jokes,
Hold me tight
And when you finally stride over to me,
When I finally get my chance,
It's all I've been waiting for and more
The dam breaks and all the memories come rushing back
I want to continue to hold you
All night
Into daybreak
Like we said we would
In a flash you disappeared,
Taking with you the us
It's easier now
But I could still stare at you for hours
Always wishing,
Wishing you would stare back.

Birthday

Noon Wines. Would you like fries with that, or would you prefer a horse? *giggle*

The Death Ray Blaster. We escaped, you vile fiends! Muhuhahahaha!

Science is fun!

Beautiful Bangalore. Sigh.

The brother and I.


Speed demon. Ha!


Anu and I at my favourite place to drink lime juice!


The son and I. And that's why I drink lime juice and not beer. :)


How cool is my camera?!

My huggle bear. Java city. Two cameras. Fun.

Jealousy

Consumed by green
Eaten alive by monsters that refuse to die
Taunted by the products of my memories
Betrayed by my own heart
Feelings, smells and sounds
A never-ending montage
I blink back tears
After all
This is for the best
Right?

Us

This is a tribute to our three years in college, thanks to Lubi. Watching it got me all choked up, but it also made me laugh out loud, and I guess that's the way I'll always remember my time there. There were ups and downs, but at the end of the day, we all love each other, and I couldn't have asked for a better set of friends or a happier three years. Salut! Watch the video that nearly made me bawl over here.

Does she know?

Take me in the kitchen
Also in the hall
Does she know what you're doing
Whenever she calls

Ask me to make you happy
Ask her to marry you
Does she know what she's getting
By being in love with you

Wrap your arms around me
Kiss her delicate face
Tell her that you love her
And spend the night at my place

Tell me I'm your lover
Tell her she's the one
Have your fun with me
Go to her when we're done

This is for all the lying, cheating, w***heads I know and have heard of.

To Nafi

Nafi,
Three years, so many memories. I wish time could just stand still and let us be. I wish we'd had more time together. I wish. To the craziest chica I know here, apart from me, (you know what I mean!) here's celebrating all that was, is and will be. Miss you and much love. *hugs*

Malice

Little pots of malice
Tiny gifts of hate
Mini blooms of evil
Left by my garden gate

Early morning walks
Late night spying
I've moved on
Give up, stop trying

Tiny reminders of the past
So many little things
Keep it all, I don't want it
I don't want the pain it brings

Silly ideas that you nurture
Stupid dreams that won't come true
Give up, stop trying
I want nothing more from you

Horoscope

My horoscope for today reads: You want to live life at a profound level and don't care for anything too frivolous. Socially you are in top form, as you are extremely popular. But you will say what you think will please others.
Which has me wondering about the sudden lack of profound thought in my life. As for the popularity bit, as one friend puts it, "Social butterfly. Flap flap." I beg to differ, but that's cool with me.
It amazes me that I have nothing to say.

Resignation

From screaming, lip-biting, toe-curling, pillow-grabbing, deliciously wicked happiness to muted resignation.
I wonder if I'm too compliant.

Ex-girlfriend

Yes, yes. Two posts on the same day. Two completely opposite moods. Hey, with what's been happening lately, do ya really blame me?
Right now, I can totally relate to this song. So here goes.

I kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-girlfriend
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them
And you know it makes me sick to be on that list
But I should've thought of that before we kissed

You say you're gonna burn before you mellow
I will be the one to burn you
Why'd you have to go and pick me
When you knew that we were different
Completely

And I'm another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should've thought of that before we kissed

Your wildness scares me
So does your freedom
You say you can't stand the restrictions
I found myself trying to change you
If you were meant to be my lover I wouldn't have to

And I feel so mean, I feel in-between
'Cause I'm about to give you away

We keep repeating mistakes for souvenirs
And we've been in between the days for years
And I know that when I see you I'm going to die
I know I'm going to want you and you know why
It's going to kill me to see you with the next girl
'Cause I'm the most gorgeously jealous kind of ex-girl

But I should've thought of that before we kissed...

The Epiphany

We went out today. Had a drink and lunch. Good company, good music, lots of laughs. All in all, a good time. Except I came away poorer and still bored. Fast forward to later in the day. I decide to take a bus home. I get on and am informed that it goes only halfway. "What the hell", I think, I'll go up to there and find my way home, no problem. I get off, walk to the next bus stop, for kicks, and sit down to wait for the next bus to come along. Across from me is a roller-skating rink, so I watch little kids go round and round while I wait. (I love people-watching). The weather's just right, and soon enough, a bus comes along, and it's quite comfortably empty, and I get off pretty much right outside my door. All for the incredible price of seven rupees. I was ridiculously happy when I got home. :)

Bittersweet

I've been making a lot of trips to the past lately. Songs, pictures, messages, random objects. Sigh. Sometimes I just want to hold on to certain memories and feelings so tightly that they stay with me forever. If my life was a movie, there'd be one of those ultra-senti songs playing in the background. I'm trying to move on, I am. Apparently it's harder than I thought. I wish I had pictures and videos of all those happy times. On the other hand, when I look at the stuff I do have, the pain is almost real. One of those bittersweet moments, you know?

Wednesday

"Let's do a proper date this time."
Sure, let's go dancing.
"Cool, you're on."

Here's to us.
"Oh, very original."
YOU toast then.
"Here's to short skirts and long legs."
(blush)

"You've changed. I don't know. Seems you've become more...uh..."
Bitchy?
"Let's just say you don't believe in the innate goodness of human nature anymore."
Why should I? The world is full of assholes. You're partly to blame too.
"Me?? What did I do?"
Never mind. It's irrelevant now.

"I don't feel like dropping you home right away"
Okay, let's go for a drive then.

"Please...? Come on, be nice."
No.
"Why not?"
I don't feel like it.
"That's just mean."
Well, I feel mean.
"Fine then, I can be mean too."
Go ahead.

"The girl I once loved has changed and become someone I don't understand or care for. I miss the old you, but I don't want to know the new you, so you have a good life and I wish you all the best. I love someone else."

Ha! How do you explain Wednesday night then? If that's your idea of love and commitment, I want no part of it, thank you very much.

From cynic to believer

If you're constantly on the receiving end of something not so pleasant, the minute it stops, you begin to look at normal behaviour with newfound respect. Even not-so-great actions get magnified and seem extraordinary. I hope I don't become jaded by either side, is all I can say.

Of friendship

What does it take to be a good friend? Are you expected to be entirely supportive or tell them that they're being stupid? I mean, where do you draw the line between good intentions and foisting your views on the person?
If there's anything I want to be remembered for, it would be for being a good friend. So I'm stuck here wondering if I should say, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Stop this shit NOW!" or "It's your life, and no matter what you decide, I'll be there, and I'll support your decision." Then there's people who don't care what you say, they'll do what they want anyway. Where do you draw the line? What if something goes wrong and you could have said or done something to prevent it? Decisions, decisions, decisions.